Mayan Apocalypse – Justice Department Takes Action
Breaking News: The Department of Justice has filed a lawsuit in federal court to stop the impending end of the world on the 21st. A Justice Department spokesperson had this to say, “the end of the world scheduled for Friday the 21st is quite obviously motivated by racism, an overwhelming majority of people on earth are not white, which means the majority are minorities.”
The lawsuit urges the judge to issue an injunction to postpone the apocalypse until some way can be found to make sure equal numbers of every race are obliterated. Civil Rights groups such as the NAACP cheered upon hearing of the suit.
Republicans responded by claiming everyone has a right to live, but democrats dismissed this claim, repeating the fact that republicans want the apocalypse cancelled, that means they want to deny it to the world’s hard working minority majority.