BREAKING NEWS: Congress Passes Sensible Legislation
In a surprise move, Congress has passed what seems to be the first sensible act in more than 50 years. While still upholding traditions of senseless government meddling dating back to roman times in other areas, Congress has certainly taken a shocking detour in permitting 100 watt incandescent bulbs to continue being sold past the December 31st deadline imposed in 2007.
However, observers caution that this isn’t a sign of change coming to Washington. Rep. Ron Paul and his son Senator Rand Paul, well known proponents of decent lightbulbs, apparently got the entire Congress drunk and slipped the provision in to the FY 2012 budget while everyone was watching Nancy Pelosi do a keg stand. Nathan Fellows, of Augusta Maine had this to say:
Those mother fuckers, I just bought 20 of the damn things today.
But seriously folks, the peoples cube has discovered a man with an ingenious way around laws banning decent light bulbs. Since light bulbs “waste” most of their energy as heat, it turns out they are more efficient heating devices than most devices designed for the purpose. Everyone familiar with the easy bake oven knows this.
One other interesting thing is in colder climates the energy savings is mostly eradicated. Strictly speaking estimates put lighting energy usage at 75% less using the CFL “swirly” bulbs. However considering that the heat not being put out by light bulbs needs to be replaced by oil furnaces or what have you, it drops to 17% in some cases. In certain instances there may even be higher greenhouse gas emissions by homes switching to swirly bulbs. But hey, like all trendy environmental policy, NIMBY applies.