The left has been going on and on about the Koch brothers recently. It ends up the public hasn’t rejected left-wing ideas because they suck and are awful, it’s just because of the Koch brothers. In fact, everyone would love liberalism if it weren’t for the Koch brothers and their money.
So who are the Koch brothers? They are these really rich brothers who are responsible for all conservatism — at least since a couple weeks ago which is when liberals suddenly all started complaining about them. Anyway, there basically wouldn’t be anything right-wing if it weren’t for their funding. Like in the last election, everyone who voted Republican got $5000. And check your pocket; you’ll find twenty bucks. That’s what the Koch brothers paid you to read this right-wing site. Ask yourself: Would you actually read this site if you weren’t paid to? Of course not. You’re not even really a conservative; it’s just that’s what you have to pretend to be to get Koch brother money.
Like, I wouldn’t even be blogging about politics if it weren’t for Koch brother money. But I get thousands of dollars from the Kochs every time I make fun of Obama.
BTW, Obama’s got crazy ears! **ka ching!**
So, anyway, the Koch brothers are the only reason conservatives are around. So that’s why liberals are constantly going on about them even though no one else cares. If they can just stop that flow of money, conservatism will dry up and people will stop thinking liberals smell funny and are weird — because we won’t get the $80 for thinking that anymore.
I’m going to go look at my guns and pretend I like freedom. I get $500 for that.